"my big mouth hands over one third of every script every time I talk to a screenwriter"
<< Let this be my head-shot for that particular year...
I know! I know, believe me, I know... but keep in mind this was thirty years ago...
Thirty... I might collapse here, but don’t we all just remember 1988 as if it was just yesterday... or the day before?
1988 (MCMLXXXVIII, for the Romans among us) was a leap year starting on Friday of the Gregorian calendar, the 1988th year of the Common Era (CE) and Anno Domini (AD) designations, the 988th year of the 2nd millennium, the 88th year of the 20th century, and the 9th year of the 1980s decade.
In the 20th century, the year 1988 has the most Roman numeral digits.
Who forgot these details as if they happened only twenty seconds ago, right?
Anyway, the reason I’m bringing up this magical year is because history indeed does repeat itself.
Meaning, that in 1988, I was in a theatrical play (and this happened to be my break-through role in theater, of which I'm still providing today) about the tough decisions kids have to make about education and future and stuff; in other words: an informative kind of play. This month, thirty years later, I am performing a part in yet another (and, thus, my second) informative play.
 |
| photo and design: Rien de Jager |
However, it is not about tough decisions—although, which play isn’t, right? To be, or not to be. It's in all of them—and such. This year it’s more about bullying.
And am I passionate about that subject?!
Look, to be frank: bullying pisses me off. And I know, some of the people who penetrated my life between then and now may say “but, Jean (or Charlie, depending on which side of my underwear you might have come in those lost thirty years) you used to bully all the time!” To those of you I say: “You don’t know the difference between bullying and teasing!”
I admit, I like teasing people. And who doesn’t? But I do know (unlike others, most notably in high, history-making places—not naming anyone, but you know who you are) where to draw the line. I do not believe I ever caused any philological (catch my drift?) damage just for being smart and witty. And teasing.
Perhaps the most destructive—and in my vision: funny—line, that has ever poured from my mouth (which made it into a TV-series—if you allow me bragging here) was to my ex-girlfriend. I told her: “the only thing that looks good on you, is a body-bag".
Look, it’s not flattering; I get that. It's not perfect romance material. I get this, as well. But it was the only “right” thing to say at that time. However, I do hold grudges sometimes.
And am I passionate about that subject?!
Look, to be frank: bullying pisses me off. And I know, some of the people who penetrated my life between then and now may say “but, Jean (or Charlie, depending on which side of my underwear you might have come in those lost thirty years) you used to bully all the time!” To those of you I say: “You don’t know the difference between bullying and teasing!”
I admit, I like teasing people. And who doesn’t? But I do know (unlike others, most notably in high, history-making places—not naming anyone, but you know who you are) where to draw the line. I do not believe I ever caused any philological (catch my drift?) damage just for being smart and witty. And teasing.
Perhaps the most destructive—and in my vision: funny—line, that has ever poured from my mouth (which made it into a TV-series—if you allow me bragging here) was to my ex-girlfriend. I told her: “the only thing that looks good on you, is a body-bag".
Look, it’s not flattering; I get that. It's not perfect romance material. I get this, as well. But it was the only “right” thing to say at that time. However, I do hold grudges sometimes.
But then, in my humble opinion, the whole body-bag situation was way classier than the thing I said one day later. Prepare for this one!
This one is true classic, since it was used in a film—me and my big mouth hand over one third of every script every time I talk to a screenwriter. I should be credited, but then again, shame is always handling my resume—so, in a freaky way, me breaking up with someone hands one-liners to Hollywood material. Anyway, the next day, I had the nerve—that's how I experience it now—to say: “If you truly love me, you’ll find an original way to drop dead between now and three seconds.” Yes, dear world, I was pissed off.
Subsequently, we’re drifting away from the Elephant... BULLYING!
When we think about bullying, we tend to picture younger kids getting picked on at the playground. But apparently—yes, as shocked as you are—adults experience their fair share of bullying as well—particularly those who work in an office setting. In fact, a whopping 29 percent of employees claim they’ve been bullied on the job, according to a survey.
Subsequently, we’re drifting away from the Elephant... BULLYING!
When we think about bullying, we tend to picture younger kids getting picked on at the playground. But apparently—yes, as shocked as you are—adults experience their fair share of bullying as well—particularly those who work in an office setting. In fact, a whopping 29 percent of employees claim they’ve been bullied on the job, according to a survey.
Certain workers are more likely to be bullied than others. A good 40 percent of LGBT adults say they’ve experienced on-the-job bullying, while 39 percent of younger workers aged 18 to 24 say the same. And 32 percent of women have had a similar experience.
So, when it comes to bullying, you cannot, in any way, project me into those demographics. I tease, not bully. I know the difference. Now it’s up to you.
Though bullying can take many different forms in a work environment, the underlying theme is that victims have come away feeling grossly disrespected and mistreated. For the purpose of its study, studies (is this sentence going anywhere?) defines bullying as:
If you’ve been the victim of job-related bullying, you should know that there’s a good chance your manager’s or colleagues’ behaviour is in violation of company policy. It may even be against the law. It’s for this reason that you’ll need to keep a detailed record of any and all bullying incidents you’re subject to.
Each time someone at the office mistreats you, document what happens. Write down the date, time, location and players involved. Be sure to include a list of people who witness the bullying, even if they’re mere bystanders. And do your best to get as specific as possible so that you’re able to give a clear account of what happened. For example, if a co-worker used racial slurs when addressing you during a meeting, write down precisely what that person said, and the context in which he or she said it.
Not only it is vital that you maintain a record of the bullying incidents you’re involved in, but you should also store that record someplace secure. Unfortunately, keeping it on your laptop may not be good enough. For better protection, store a copy online, or send one to your personal email.
Once you’ve established a pattern of bullying, take that information to your company’s human resources department. Better yet, get a hold of your employee handbook and highlight the sections the person who bullied you has clearly violated. This way, your HR department will have no choice but to take action.
Though the idea of approaching HR might seem intimidating, you shouldn’t let your fear of being labelled a tattletale stop you from speaking up. Surprisingly, 72 percent of workers who fall victim to bullying don’t report it to HR, and that’s a huge mistake. Finally, if all else fails, you may want to get an outside attorney involved. If you go this route, your best course of action may be to arrive at a settlement that allows you to feel secure financially as you look for a new company to work for. But if you’re thorough in your documentation, in many cases, it won’t come to that.
Though you’d think adults would be past the bullying stage, that clearly isn’t the case. Just know that you do have rights as an employee, and you shouldn’t hesitate to protect yourself from bullying as needed.
And this is only in the work-space.
Imagine, still—and this is 2018, and we all should know fucking better—what goes on in playgrounds. If I didn’t have a 12-year-old daughter, I wouldn’t even know the state of the schoolyards these days, and let me tell you plain: the schoolyards these days are something Adolf Hitler would be proud of. And that’s stating it lightly.
I understand, sitting here in my house, listening to some music in the background, that it’s more easily said than done. I know that. I mean, look who’s talking! I didn’t even know I was bullied at school until some accidental collision (not sexually) with an old class-mate. To be exact: she told me, me and my best friend—a.k.a. the Italian (I do think you know one another by now)—were bullied all the time. Lucky for the two (Italian and myself) of us, we weren’t even aware of that little fact. The fact that she apologized for the bullying (which, in my opinion, never happened) must stand for something.
However! People! Bullying remains a big problem as long as people think they’re worth more, or are inferior to other people.
We’re all human, and we all fuck up. All of us. We screw up our kids—even though we told ourselves never to be a bit like our parents (in other words: we thought we could do better; but we don’t. We fuck up big time, as much as they did.)—we screw up our families, our colleagues, our bosses, our neighbours... basically everybody.
I think it’s time for a counterrevolution.
Hear me out!
So, we—my questionable generation of degenerates—made the 90s. Let's go back there. Drop the motherfucking phone and stop allowing multinationals to dictate your lives. Drop it all. Go to your neighbour and invite yourself over for a coffee. And invite the bastard back over to your house for a glass of wine.
You see, this “controlling” group of people—the hipsters (big FUCK YOU, since nothing you ever do is original—for God's sake; just do some research!)—may have the best intentions—tattoos taken aside (you know what I mean, don’t you? Neck-tattoos used to mean: I’m a big, bad motherfucker who did time for murder and possession. Today, 2018, neck-tattoos only mean: I'm a big, lovingly Vegan who holds a phone in his/her hand for 20 hours a day, because if I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t know what to do, what to eat, what to wear and what to listen to [e.g. “Drake” instead of “Ralph George” or “Jean Koning” {to name a few close ones, wink} who produce true, organic, heartfelt music instead of some bullshit yes-we-had-one-billion-listeners-bullshit-kind of music.]) but they still I haven't got a clue...
So, when it comes to bullying, you cannot, in any way, project me into those demographics. I tease, not bully. I know the difference. Now it’s up to you.
Though bullying can take many different forms in a work environment, the underlying theme is that victims have come away feeling grossly disrespected and mistreated. For the purpose of its study, studies (is this sentence going anywhere?) defines bullying as:
- Being constantly or rudely criticized by a boss or colleague (or group of colleagues).
- Being subject to belittling comments about your work in group settings.
- Being gossiped about.
- Having your input dismissed or ignored.
- Being falsely accused of mistakes you’re not actually to blame for.
- Being yelled at in front of others.
- Being intentionally excluded from projects or meetings.
- Being held to a different, and less beneficial, set of standards than others.
If you’ve been the victim of job-related bullying, you should know that there’s a good chance your manager’s or colleagues’ behaviour is in violation of company policy. It may even be against the law. It’s for this reason that you’ll need to keep a detailed record of any and all bullying incidents you’re subject to.
Each time someone at the office mistreats you, document what happens. Write down the date, time, location and players involved. Be sure to include a list of people who witness the bullying, even if they’re mere bystanders. And do your best to get as specific as possible so that you’re able to give a clear account of what happened. For example, if a co-worker used racial slurs when addressing you during a meeting, write down precisely what that person said, and the context in which he or she said it.
Not only it is vital that you maintain a record of the bullying incidents you’re involved in, but you should also store that record someplace secure. Unfortunately, keeping it on your laptop may not be good enough. For better protection, store a copy online, or send one to your personal email.
Once you’ve established a pattern of bullying, take that information to your company’s human resources department. Better yet, get a hold of your employee handbook and highlight the sections the person who bullied you has clearly violated. This way, your HR department will have no choice but to take action.
Though the idea of approaching HR might seem intimidating, you shouldn’t let your fear of being labelled a tattletale stop you from speaking up. Surprisingly, 72 percent of workers who fall victim to bullying don’t report it to HR, and that’s a huge mistake. Finally, if all else fails, you may want to get an outside attorney involved. If you go this route, your best course of action may be to arrive at a settlement that allows you to feel secure financially as you look for a new company to work for. But if you’re thorough in your documentation, in many cases, it won’t come to that.
Though you’d think adults would be past the bullying stage, that clearly isn’t the case. Just know that you do have rights as an employee, and you shouldn’t hesitate to protect yourself from bullying as needed.
And this is only in the work-space.
Imagine, still—and this is 2018, and we all should know fucking better—what goes on in playgrounds. If I didn’t have a 12-year-old daughter, I wouldn’t even know the state of the schoolyards these days, and let me tell you plain: the schoolyards these days are something Adolf Hitler would be proud of. And that’s stating it lightly.
I understand, sitting here in my house, listening to some music in the background, that it’s more easily said than done. I know that. I mean, look who’s talking! I didn’t even know I was bullied at school until some accidental collision (not sexually) with an old class-mate. To be exact: she told me, me and my best friend—a.k.a. the Italian (I do think you know one another by now)—were bullied all the time. Lucky for the two (Italian and myself) of us, we weren’t even aware of that little fact. The fact that she apologized for the bullying (which, in my opinion, never happened) must stand for something.
However! People! Bullying remains a big problem as long as people think they’re worth more, or are inferior to other people.
We’re all human, and we all fuck up. All of us. We screw up our kids—even though we told ourselves never to be a bit like our parents (in other words: we thought we could do better; but we don’t. We fuck up big time, as much as they did.)—we screw up our families, our colleagues, our bosses, our neighbours... basically everybody.
I think it’s time for a counterrevolution.
Hear me out!
So, we—my questionable generation of degenerates—made the 90s. Let's go back there. Drop the motherfucking phone and stop allowing multinationals to dictate your lives. Drop it all. Go to your neighbour and invite yourself over for a coffee. And invite the bastard back over to your house for a glass of wine.
You see, this “controlling” group of people—the hipsters (big FUCK YOU, since nothing you ever do is original—for God's sake; just do some research!)—may have the best intentions—tattoos taken aside (you know what I mean, don’t you? Neck-tattoos used to mean: I’m a big, bad motherfucker who did time for murder and possession. Today, 2018, neck-tattoos only mean: I'm a big, lovingly Vegan who holds a phone in his/her hand for 20 hours a day, because if I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t know what to do, what to eat, what to wear and what to listen to [e.g. “Drake” instead of “Ralph George” or “Jean Koning” {to name a few close ones, wink} who produce true, organic, heartfelt music instead of some bullshit yes-we-had-one-billion-listeners-bullshit-kind of music.]) but they still I haven't got a clue...
People, I implore you all: let’s go back to the 90s. Let's outrank our governments. Let wipe all the multinationals out like there was not tomorrow.
Just Google the past to find out what they were all up to. The lines may be different, the message is still the same.
In conclusion: all hope for the planet’s—and along with the planet: the human race—survival is lost as long as we continue bullying. Whether it’s in school or at the office. As long as people are driven by jealousy and resentment, the human race will never see the 22nd century... You'd think this is quite narrow-minded; I tell you: it's not. Zero-respect for your fellow-human, Zero-survival for the human-race... One plus one is, wherever on the planet, still two.
Wish I had better news. However, lessons to learn about Workplace Bullying, can be learned during the black, black, black, sarcastic—yet, heartfelt—comedy which will be on stage in September in Amsterdam...
More 1988-stuff (quite exclusive, since it has been last published in 1988... & considering my head-shot, I guess you might recognize me in these photos.)
Comments
Post a Comment